Skip to main content


Showing posts from September, 2015

The Unpostable Post.

Body criticism. It's everywhere, and I'm the worst on myself, but the world is pretty bad too.

Full disclosure: I'm 5'7", this morning I weighed 170.2 lbs.  I have about 35% body fat. My closet contains clothes between size 10 and 14. My shoe size is 8.5 and my measurements are 40-30-38.  In the last year, I have weighed as little as 160 and as much as 172.  In my adult life, the range was 148 (as a college athlete) to 211 (at 41 weeks pregnant with my fourth child).  I would have to lose 11 lbs to have a bmi of "normal weight".

I have guttate psoriasis sporadically and a fused 4th toe on my left foot.  I have a moderate amount of gray hair and a less-than-average amount of wrinkles and sun damage (thank you, graduate school).

I'm active, but I don't "work out".  I find it tedious. I'd rather walk, read a book, have a dance party or make love.

This is the story of a woman's body. One woman's body, all women's bodies.

We are …


Sometimes we get called to the work we need to do, and not the work we want.

The thing that keeps me awake is that sometimes I forget to be confident that I have all the resources available to do the work.

I'm in the middle of a divorce that is painful and necessary all at once - from a good man who lives in a way I cannot anymore - with four little children, a full time job, and now, an older father to care for, who is, mercifully, moving closer to where I am.

It's a lot.

People say, "Wow. You have a lot on your plate."  My response, "Yes, but I have a lot on my plate."

Some days, I get to the stopping point and I say to myself (and the work, and the world)....enough.

I've done enough for today.  And I have to sit, and rest, and let the discipline of not-doing, of allowing myself to rest, be a living practice that I have enough, that I don't have to constantly work to keep all the plates spinning, to make sure I've done enough to earn my keep.

In m…