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Today's Prayer.

Oh, Lady. Give me the peace that passes all understanding today, in this season approaching the dark.

Help me hold my center in this storm.

Help me not be so sensitive. Let me think gently of myself, so it doesn't hurt so much when others are thoughtless.

Remind me that this process, and my journey, are mine, and I chose it. I chose to survive. I chose to grow. I chose to walk, step by step, off the edge and into the abyss and grow my wings on the way down. I choose every day how to do this. Remind me that the point I'm at is just fine, without anyone else's approval or "likes".

I don't need the world to tell me I'm doing well.

Remind me that therapy doesn't make me mentally ill any more than going to church makes me a sinner.

Remind me that my children are mine and lovely and whole and the center of my world, even when they are away from me half of the time. Remind me that there is a cord that connects us at every moment, and that wherever we are, our hearts beat in sync. Remind me that I may not be the perfect mother, but I am the best mother I can be.

Help me let my grief be a testament to my love, and not just to my loss.

Help me let my mourning be a testament to my respect, and not to regret. 

Help take the the urgency out of my hunger and loneliness, to see both as fleeting, so that I can make good judgements for my children and myself. 

Remind me to be mindful of others, and to engage only with intention and honesty. Keep me mindful that it's just not OK to use other people as scratching posts, to seek pleasure and attention and distraction at the expense of another's heart, or my own. 

Remind me the words "I'm not ready" are a gift to others and more importantly, to myself.

Amen.



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